[Historian’s Note: The following are exerts taken from the rediscovered Houdini diaries, long thought lost to posterity. Apparently they were only “misplaced to posterity” and recently turned up in the underwear drawer of a certain Miss Santana, a telemarketer in Phoenix.]
March 17 – Escaped from a safe today. Even though I did it in record time, the crowd seemed restless. Must remember to mention this to my agent. Things are looking up on the home front. I finally managed to find a credenza to match the drapes. Tried to knock the price down by offering to escape from a set of wrist shackles he had lying around, but he wouldn’t go for it. Still, life is good.
March 20 – Lunch with Morty today. The poor man has spent the last year locked in his flat, determined to write the world’s funniest musical. At the end, by sheer coincidence, he had managed to reproduce the complete works of Ezra Pound. He insisted on seeing it performed anyways and kept insisting afterwards that it was funny, the actors just kept putting the emphasis on the wrong bits. Artists.
April 12 – My agent told me I had to freshen up my act so I added a pony. People love ponies. I’ve given him a top hat and a tail coat. I call him Lord Henbetty and he stamps his hoof to count out how long it takes me to get out of the milk can.
April 19 – Dinner again with Morty, then drinks afterward. Morty always finds it funny when we’re at the bar and he hides my keys. He laughs for hours.
April 23 – Had to get rid of the pony. Stole too much of the spotlight. On a brighter note, I won’t have to buy beef for quite some time.
May 3 – For a lark, I broke in to prison. Thought it was quite funny ‘til the strip search. Guess they had the last laugh.
